Tag: humour

LIFE OF A ROTTEN POTATO
by Angus, 10, Bowral Public School

Hello there, I’m a potato. Today I’m going to tell you how the life of a rotten potato works. At the start of my life I was stuck under this icky brown stuff, I was under there for weeks until a human finally pulled me out. That was the first time I met my family. My brother’s name was Spud, my mum’s name was Beryl and my dad’s name was Mark. My brother always teased me and said that I was rotten. I felt left out all the time because all my friends ditched me when they found out I was rotten. I asked Mum and Dad if I was rotten. They said I wasn’t, but I knew they were saying that to be nice.

The next stage of my life was being cleaned. It was one of the most horrible things that had happened to me ever. My second cousin drowned. His name was Fred, it was really quite sad. When I had to be washed I was exited I thought the mould and stuff would come off but it didn’t, it was horrible.

The third stage was being cut up, this was usually the end of a potato’s life — but I was rotten so they didn’t cut me up into little bits, they just threw me in the trash. I was super sad for the next few days because my mum, dad and brother got cooked and eaten. I was lonely in the garbage. The only thing to talk to was a mouldy banana named Rick. He said the same sort of thing happened to his family except they just got eaten not cooked. The next day the evil humans put all the garbage into one big metal bin with all the dead foods that nobody had eaten.

There was a mandarin that nobody had eaten. I said he was lucky he was alive, but then he said he was inhabited by worms. Sadly Rick the banana didn’t make it, he fell out of the bin and got stepped on and he got splattered everywhere it was disgusting. When we were first put into the metal bin we got put on a truck and got driven to a place called the tip. There were so many other foods that were still alive. My best friend became a brussels sprout named Rick, just like my friend Rick the banana but we do not speak of Rick the banana any more. After six months in the tip at night, I was laying looking up at the stars thinking about my family and friends, how they died. I thought that I should stop thinking about them and think about how I made new friends and how I’m still alive today instead of thinking about all the bad things in life like being rotten. That night I went to sleep a happy potato and I lived out the rest of my life as one. And that is the life of a rotten potato.

We will be sharing writing from students at Bowral Public School over the next few days. If you’d like to send us YOUR book review, story, poem or artwork, check out our submission guidelines.